a song

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

I don't know what a song means
to any of you.
To me,
it is freedom. 

I walk with a sinking feeling
in my chest.
It feels like
a tangible darkness has come
and taken possession
of me. 

It is prison,
and it is

I don't know
if the darkness comes 
from inside or out.
I don't know
if the darkness is me,
and has been all along.

It's hard, almost impossible,
putting one foot in front
of the other
when you've got 
that sinking feeling
in your chest
weighing you down.

But a song--God, I can hardly explain it.
A song is like light pouring through,
like waking up to a screaming pink sky
outside an airplane window,
like the feel of ocean water 
beating against your skin.

It feels as if your soul
has fallen in on itself,
torn to pieces
and made new again.

And, even if it's for only a second,
the darkness 
and that sinking feeling
go away.

I can breathe.

And it feels like
the moment for which
I was made.