Monday, August 1, 2016

Colorado Diaries // Episode Two







One month ago today I was still in Buena Vista, Colorado having the time of my life. The whole trip was surreal. I know of people who haven't even been outside their own state, but I got to ride a bus across the country with a bunch of really cool people. I still amazes me that God provided the funds I needed for the trip.

Summer camp is very often a time that church-going teens use to get their hearts right, a time when all distractions are put away and you can just live. Most every day I tried to sneak away during some time or another to write in my journal and get my thoughts together. Several people told me they admired me for my dedication in journaling. I only smiled because, really, I journal to survive. Without it I'd probably go crazy. To go along with the last post, I'd like to share an excerpt from my journal. Again, my brain is a messy place;I hope you find it at least partially accommodating and can stand to look into my thoughts for just a few minutes!

26 June 2016 Frontier Trip: Day 3

Today was one of the longest days I've had in a long time. My legs ache and need shaving and my back hurts, but it feels good. It feels good to have done something and to have seen people and to be part of something greater than myself.

The speaker tonight said that everyone has a purpose, and everyone is searching. He hit the nail right on the head, I think. I'm definitely searching for my purpose. I don't know what it is yet, but I'll find it. 

I'd have to say that this is the biggest, longest in between I've ever been in. Granted, it could be the only in between but still. All I've ever wanted is to get away, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I live in a bubble. I want something more, but I'm ignoring what's right in front of my face. I keep setting myself up for a fairytale life, one where I have everything I want and need. That's not a reality, though.

Life is hard. People are complicated and sometimes stupid. I probably will never make it to a home in Tennessee. I probably won't be successful in my writing. I probably won't travel to Europe or Australia.

But I do have a purpose. I have to hold on to that, or else I have no will to live. I have to believe that someone will read my words and benefit from them. I have to strive for greatness or else I'll settle for mediocrity. There's gotta be something beyond this.

And till my last day, I'll search for that something.
--

One of the biggest lies that humans are told is that they are insignificant. Scientists tell us to look up at the stars and realize how small we are, and God does, too. But the difference between the two is that scientists tell us that because of our size, we don't matter, and God tells us that despite our size, we do matter. It's revolutionary, really.

This lie that is so popular, that includes the lie that we're gonna live and die and that's it, leaves us with a watermelon sized hole in our hearts, and that can't be good. With all these voices screaming YOLO at us, we've gotta focus on the one voice telling us that we've got a purpose on this earth that's bigger than ourselves. We don't have to chase after money and fame because we've got a better, eternal reward waiting for us.

Maybe you're like me. Maybe you don't know what your purpose is. Maybe you keep waiting for life because you're not finding it where you are right now, and, boy, do I know how agonizing that is. And what I've learned is that, maybe, if you open your eyes a little and look for your purpose around you, you'll find just what you're looking for. I promise you that investing in God and people is the most promising task you can ever take up on this earth, and if you pursue his will for you, you'll find the out exactly what you're supposed to be. Stop trying to figure it out on your own. God's got this!!

--
Hey, guess what????? I can tell you for real that I'm BACK for good. You know how I know that? Because this afternoon I just planned ALL of August's and September's blog posts! So stay tuned for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday posts through all of August and September. If you need help keeping up, just subscribe by email to all my posts on the sidebar to your right!

Also, I wanted to thank you awesome readers for keeping me going! I blog because y'all exist! Have a great week, and see you Wednesday! 










10 comments :

  1. MARY SHELLEY GOOD NEWS YOUR BLOG LINKS ARE ALL WORKING FOR ME!! *does a little happy dance* OKAY SO OH MY WORD THIS POST. THIS POST IS BEAUTIFUL. <3 *hugs it and hugs you* Seriously, it is so loaded and deep and wonderful. I could feel your words so hard, like a river in my soul. Thank you for that. <3

    "But the difference between the two is that scientists tell us that because of our size, we don't matter, and God tells us that despite our size, we do matter. It's revolutionary, really."
    ^^^^^^^^^^ THISSSS!!! YAAAAS. It's beautiful, isn't it?? Just knowing that what we're a part of something that transcends dimensions and human understanding and it's all good and beautiful and compelling. All we have to do is believe -- we don't even have to know how it works. We just have to trust that it does work because we can FEEL it. (anyway, I'm rambling.)

    I loved reading your journal entry!! And eeeep a bus trip to Colorado sounds awesome! You must have had a wonderful time. :) Bravo for planning out all those posts, girl!! YOU ROCK. I can't wait to see what's in store for your blog! :D

    lotsalove,
    abbiee

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    1. Ahhhh thanks Abbs!! Btw I love your ramblings :)))

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  2. MARY SHELLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh my goodness, I can't even express how much love I have for this post. I wish that my journal entries were half as eloquent as yours- they usually don't even make any sense the next day.

    I just want to highlight this whole post and plaster it on my wall or something. It's so beautiful.

    "But I do have a purpose. I have to hold on to that, or else I have no will to live. I have to believe that someone will read my words and benefit from them. I have to strive for greatness or else I'll settle for mediocrity. There's gotta be something beyond this.

    And till my last day, I'll search for that something."

    ^^I LOVE THAT SO FREAKING MUCH. YESYESYES.

    "But the difference between the two is that scientists tell us that because of our size, we don't matter, and God tells us that despite our size, we do matter. It's revolutionary, really." <-- AND THAT. Like, mind blown. It's so crazy to think about all that! I'm so glad that God's got plans for us, because I'd be utterly failing otherwise. XD

    Also, I am SO EXCITED about getting so many posts from you!!! I love your blog so much, excuse me while I go squeal from excitement. <3

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    1. Grace Anne you are too sweet. Thanks for your comment. It truly made my day!!

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  3. YAYYYY!!! I loved this post so so much, Mary Shelley. It was so profound, and it really hit home...deep in my soul. The way you put words together -- that is a gift. And girl, you're going to go far with it. This was really inspiring too...like can I honestly just print and frame this on my wall BECAUSE I NEED THIS REMINDER IN MY LIFE MORE OFTEN.

    So many people just want to live in the moment (and so DO I...LIKE THAT IS GREAT AND ALL) but I saw a video on Youtube once that said to live beyond the moment. Live in the light of eternity. And that was just like whooaa. ANYWAYS SO THIS POST WAS SO GOOD LIKE DUDE I LOVE ALL OF THIS SO MUCH ♥

    EEEEK I can't wait for more posts! I just love it when I get blogging inspiration bursts...they're so nice because the rest of the time i'm just like hmm i should post about a potato or something equally important. SO EXCITED!!!

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    1. Thank you so so much autumn. Literally fangirling over your complement rn. Thank you for commenting!!!

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  4. Amen, Mary Shelly. Yahweh definitely has a purpose for each of us... we are each unique, we each have a different tole to play for God's bigger picture! :D
    And that scientists vs. God quote, Mary... ah gosh. That is amazing.
    Yay! Looking forward to more of your posts. YHVH bless!
    -Angela | thepeculiarmessenger.wordpress.com

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