Some Words to My Dear Friends Out There:

Sunday, June 7, 2015

I’ve been a prideful, arrogant mess. I’ve hidden behind Word documents and black and white scribbles, desperate to make myself known. I’ve searched for life in promises of new places, wanting to be a part of something bigger, when I have life here. Right here, where blood runs orange, I have so much: I’m part of the Body of Christ; I am redeemed and forgiven; I have duties to tend to right here, right now.


And I make mistakes just like everyone else.

I’m a mess. I’m no asset to God’s Kingdom. I sit on no pedestal. I’m a person, a person who makes mistakes and messes up over and over again on a daily basis.

So I suppose I’m trying to apologize. I apologize for trying to act like I own the world when, in fact, I own nothing. Everything on this earth belongs to the One who created it, the One who created me, and instead of bowing down before Him and humbly submitting, I’ve stood tall, certain that my way is the best way. I apologize for proclaiming the name of a loving, perfect God when in truth all I wanted was my own prosperity. I apologize for making you believe the illusion that I was acting in a godly manner when my pride ran deep. I apologize for trying to lift myself above others because I felt they were receiving more praise than they should have.

I apologize for being human: terribly, completely human.

Now I’m in a place of some sort of brokenness. Nevertheless, in this brokenness, I’ve found hope: I have hope in a God who loves me beyond reason because that is simply who He is. I have hope in a God who continues to change my heart and soul for the better for His glory. I have hope in my Savior who gave himself up so that I may live again, showing perfect humility, the humility that I aspire to make present in my everyday life.



Tomorrow afternoon I’ll arrive at camp. There, at my home away from home, I plan to look inside myself and make room for selflessness. So until next week, dear readers, keep me in your prayers, as you’ll be in mine. 

4 comments:

  1. This is a great post! I hope being at camp helps you--I know the feeling you're in and it makes everything a struggle because that state of being distracts you. I'll be praying for you.

    On a separate note, I love your blog! The design is amazing--I just signed up to have CeCe redesign my own blog--and your content is beautiful. You should definitely have more followers, and I will contribute to that by adding myself to the list of lovelies :)

    O | Life as a Young Lady

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    1. Aww thank you so, so much! I really appreciate the prayers :)

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  2. Oh my gosh...amen girl <3 This is so honest, so raw, and so beautiful.
    You are most definitely in my prayers!

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    1. Thank you so much, Lauren. I learned so much this week, and I really appreciate the prayers :)

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